The Absent Minded Professor

Hope, Despair, and Passion: Why I miss Unhappy People

// August 12th, 2010 // 7 Comments » // Musings, Unconventional Life

Despair implies a knowledge that there is something better we are not achieving.
Despair is longing.
Despair is hope.

My Coworkers: What do you miss about California, Dawson?
Me: That everyone is supremely unhappy.
My Coworkers: Huh?

I was thinking about something involving despair and hope (prompted by my ever present Twitter folks: "Proving through melody that despair is a form of hope") and the three lines at the beginning of this appeared in my Notebook o’ Ideas, followed by an amusing conversation with my co-workers in which I tried to explain what I miss about California.

There is a unique brand of beauty to being with people who strive to achieve great things, even in the face of almost certain knowledge they won’t succeed. I come from a place where I had a group of friends who were never satisfied with the status quo, they fought like soldiers in the last days of the Apocalypse to achieve great things, important, life-changing things: art and change, politics, love and friendship, it all tied up together in these intricate patterns of life. And maybe we were just young, maybe nothing is really good about those things, maybe I’m romanticizing my youth, but I miss the passion of it.

Where I live now, people’s reaction to passion is so…disturbing to me. Some people settle for staring in bemusement when confronted with a persons passion for something (people, art, politics, the topic doesn’t matter, just passion). But I have seen many, many people avert their eyes, as though passion is somehow obscene or unseemly. And that baffles me, because I think passion is beautiful. Complex, frightening, sometimes frustrating, but beautiful.

I’m not knocking the quiet life of the Midwest. I’ve met many people who’s only goal is to live the scripted life: go to college on mom’s/dad’s dime, get a good corporate job, find the man/woman of their dreams, have kids, settle down. And nothing more is expected. It’s a beautifully simple way to live.

But I discovered something: I don’t fit in that script. My character is all wrong for the story-line. I’m the kind of guy who stays up all night reading a book and writing a review of it, despite having work the next day. I’m the kind of guy who can sit in a coffee shop and talk for hours about life: how it is, how it should be, how we can save the world if we just care a little more. I am historically unreliable and I know it, following my passions where ever they lead me. Recently, I’ve tried taking stability over passion and it just hasn’t worked out.

So here’s my resolve: To live passionately. To care so much it hurts. To strive for things that are just out of my reach. To be more than I was yesterday. To do what I love, whatever that may cost. This may leave me isolated for now, but I’ll continue to actively seek out like-minded individuals.

If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that passion, hope, and despair are all better when experienced with friends.

What If’s Are a Time Waster- Or I’m Too Busy with Web Design to Write Much

// July 16th, 2010 // No Comments » // Musings, Unconventional Life

There’s not much in the way of updates for the next little while. I have a new website I’m working on, so that takes precedence right now. Lots of behind the scenes work this weekend, and hopefully in a week or two it will be ready for “The Great Unveiling”. Meanwhile, not much in the way of writing going on, but I’ll try to get some tidbits out here for you folks relatively regularly. Tonight’s tidbit:

Did you ever wonder what would have happened if you’d stayed?
just hunkered down,
just hung in through the night ’til day?
Did you ever wonder where you’d be
If you weren’t here?

I’m not generally a what-if-er. It’s not in my nature to think that I should have taken a different path, or done things a different way, because I really do believe that all our experiences shape us, and therefore there’s really no such thing as “the wrong path”. Still, tonight I find myself contemplating where I would be if I weren’t here. What my life would have been like had I known then what I know now.

What a time waster…wondering about about lives-that-might-have-been. Alas, it’s all I got this late at night.

Random Note: Q10 typewriter sound effects while writing + music playing= trying to type in rhythm with the music. So trying that again some night when I’m not really tired. I think I should write music reviews that way…

Change- Changing Yourself or Your Perspective?

// March 11th, 2010 // No Comments » // Unconventional Life

I sat in the sun today and thought about change. Personal growth, self help, ambition, therapy, whatever your poison there are a ton of blogs and books out there dedicated to “improving” oneself. At its bottom line it is all about change. It led me to wonder: has any one really addressed the idea of whether or not there are some things about ourselves that we don’t change, so much as manage? Will all the organization tips in the world make a disorganized person organized? Will all the training to simplicity make someone with a complex mind view things more simply? Will all technical manuals and tips and tricks in the tech blogs make a non-tech-savvy person tech-savvy?

I’d like to propose a new idea: there are fundamental things about ourselves that we won’t ever change- that we can only manage. What do I mean by manage? Well, since I’m a professors of sorts (except that small detail that I’m not, actually, a professor) let’s refer to our handy dandy Webster’s shall we?

Manage:
Etymology: Italian maneggiare, from manohand, from Latin manus

1. to handle or direct with a degree of skill
2. to treat with care (as in: managed his resources carefully)
3. To work upon or try to alter for a purpose
4. To succeed in accomplishing (as in: managed to escape)

So managing involves handling something carefully and with a degree of skill so as to alter for a particular purpose and, eventually, to succeed at said endeavor.

If I’m right (which I am by no means certain of, there is still much to debate on this topic) and there are things in ourselves that are part of our “nature” and therefore not changeable directly then this definition of “manage” has just given us a number of tools to effectively work with the things intrinsic to ourselves that we may not be too pleased with.

Let’s break down the tools given in Webster’s dictionary:

1. Handling something (carefully): This is the part where you can’t just ignore the things you want to work on, they must be handled (and carefully) directly by you on a day to day basis. Say you’re disorganized- you’ll have to stay conscious of it, so that daily you can direct that part of you that is disorganized to remember (by rote or through some other system) to do certain things that contribute to organization.

What things, you ask? That’s the part about “with a degree of skill”. Get out there and learn from the previously mentioned blogs and books what systems of organization there are and find one that fits you. For instance you might start using Remember the Milk to track what tasks you need to accomplish. Or perhaps Google is more your style, in which case check out Getting Organized with Google Calendar from a blog over at rightclickofficeservices.com.

Whatever path you choose, stick to it. Remind yourself daily (handle the part of you that is disorganized) to complete the necessary steps to stay organized.

2.  So as to alter it for a particular purpose: Let’s face it, disorganized people don’t want to be disorganized. They want to frantically hunt for their keys every morning. There’s nothing wrong  with them as people, it’s just not in their nature to be organized. But that doesn’t mean they can’t, as demonstrated by this part of the definition. Once you’ve gained some skills and started handling your disorganization keep yourself on the path to alter your disorganized behavior. It will be more work for you, probably, than someone who is naturally organized, but it will pay off as you see the altered state.

The last part of this section states “for a particular purpose”. Have a measurable purpose, like “I want to always be able to find my keys in the morning.” or “I want to be able to pull a file folder and have all my tax information on hand.” Target your organization toward one goal at a time, and, if possible, take one step closer to it every day. Having a concrete goal will mean you will be able to see your progress, and break up your big task into smaller pieces.

3. …to succeed at said endeavor: This is the great part. When you look around and realize that while you may tend toward disorganization, you’ve managed it day and day out and can always find your keys and always know where your tax information is at the end of the year. Keep managing it day in and day out and you should be all set!

There you have it. Webster’s Dictionary has given us the tools to manage things about ourselves that are part of our nature that we would like to change. So, does this mean you can change anything about yourself, with enough time and effort? I’m still not sure, since I know from experience struggling against disorganization is a daily effort for me- so have a changed? Or am I just managing it from day to day?

Have your say in the comments! Or, if you’ve successfully changed/managed something in yourself, share how you did it.

Thanks, Faithful Readers,

-The Absent Minded Prof

Balance- How to Keep All the Balls In The Air

// March 9th, 2010 // 1 Comment » // Unconventional Life

So, I’ve been away. Not away from home or on a trip, but busy with all the crazy things life sometimes throws our way. Which means, I haven’t posted on here in several days. My apologies, folks, my readers deserve better than that.

So, naturally, since I’m struggling with it, I’m going to talk about balance. We all have things in our lives that deserve better than what we give them: family, friends, jobs, school-work. Whatever it is, there always seem to be ten other things demanding our time. And then there is that strange, frustrating need for sleep and some form of relaxation. So, how do you balance it all? How do you keep juggling day in and day out and not drop anything?

The answer, my friends, is this: you don’t. There are one hundred and one blogs out there declaiming their ability to help you get organized and get things done and you could spend hours and hours reading them and they would never tell you the truth: When trying to juggle as many things as we ask people to these days, sometimes, your going to drop one. For me it was this, my blog. Unfortunate? Yes. Irritating for my readers? Probably. The end of the world? Most certainly not.

The best thing about juggling balls is that you can always pick them back up again. When you drop one, stoop down, grab it back up and start the process all over again. If you’ve neglected a person (like I did with you all) apologize- don’t excuse yourself with all the things you’ve been busy with, don’t let yourself off the hook. Admit it, you dropped the ball. But also make sure they know you are picking it back up and are going to work harder at keeping it in the air.

I leave you with this note:

Dear Readers,

I’m sorry for my absence, however, I’m back and better than ever. You can expect a new post tomorrow with some great information and resources in it. So stay tuned!

-The Absent Minded Prof