Becoming a fan: inspiration and appreciation

// July 10th, 2010 // Random Writings

image I have a newly developed theory. We connect with people who create things (actors, writers, directors, artists) as part of a natural desire to fill a certain void in ourselves. Falling in love with a play, or a movie, or a TV show is part and parcel of satisfying some missing thing…that thing you don’t get in a nine-to-five existence: the magic of creation- the imagination in its most raw form. And the creative items that are left behind (the show, play, the art itself) are living embodiments of something that I truly believe we are all striving for in our own ways: to create something.

Maybe you’re not an artist or a writer or an actor, that doesn’t mean you lack desire for that feeling of creativity- even if it manifests as being the kind of mother who can love her children wholly and without reserve, or an engineer who can build technological, practical wonders, or even someone who just loves to go out every night and dance. This desire for creativity is in all of us, some more pronounced than others, I would suppose.

Many people move well beyond enjoying art and become Fans (that capital “F” is quite significant- take note of it). I come from a world where being A Fan is almost mandatory. My Dad went to gaming and SciFi conventions, I couldn’t tell you how many times I’ve seen all the Star Trek movies, nor could I watch Star Wars without quoting the dialogue along with the actors. The world of Science Fiction and Fantasy (I tend to lump the two together) spawns a great number of Fans. They attend conventions, stalk hotels hoping to catch sight of their very favorite actor and wheedle an autograph out of them. They dress up like the characters, obsessively study the mythology of their chosen SciFi/Fantasy worlds. It’s a beautiful community, this is in no way a critique of the convention-going type of Fan. Most of them live without reserve and love life in a way I can only dream of. I just have never really been one of them. Maybe it’s that youthful desire to be nothing like your parents, but I’ve found myself holding back from Fan-dom, finding that it somehow makes enjoying the creativity harder for me…

Lately, a funny thing has begun happening to me, though- I’ve found myself creeping toward becoming a Fan of a particular piece of creative works. Even (horror of horrors) of a particular individual involved in the creative work. I’m not going to name names, that’s not the point of this ramble- it’s not about identifying a person who is making great art, it’s about exploring what has gently tugged me out of my reserve to become a full-fledged Fan of a person.

It’s a funny thing when I examine it, because it’s not about what art this individual has made (though all of it that I’ve been able to get hands on so far has been very enjoyable), and it’s not about the person as a person either (though from what I can tell from the variety of interviews I’ve watched, they seem a to be quite lovely)- it’s about inspiration. Discovering the Fan inside myself has meant discovering that for me personally, it’s about how famous people inspire me to pursue my own creative impulses, and not about how much I enjoy watching the fruits of their creative process. Or, I suppose it would be more accurate to say that not only must I enjoy the creativity they bring to the table, but I must also be inspired by them to pursue MY creative work.

Not surprising, I suppose. I’m sure a lot of people feel that way. It just has never occurred to me that I had a Fan lurking inside me, waiting for the right person to inspire me in an unexpected way. That- the inspiration- that is a kind of magic. Who knew?