The Absent Minded Professor

Part one is located: here

It wasn’t what I had anticipated. As I crossed from the murky, dim depths of the water into the blackest night of the corridor I suddenly felt a rush of water slam down on my head from above and then I was landing heavily on cold, hard stone, my breath (so unnecessary earlier) rushing out of me with a huff.

“Ow,” my voice echoed in what I could imagine was a cavern, but given the deep black surrounding me, there was really no telling. It was then it dawned on me that I wasn’t wearing any clothes. I rolled onto my side and curled in on myself, wrapping my arms around my knees and huddled there for an untold time, my testicles practically crawling back inside my body in an effort to keep me in the baby-making business if I ever got out of this god-forsaken mess. Mother Nature takes care of her own, this thought made me laugh, and if there was an edge of hysteria to it I chose to ignore it. Not like there was anyone there to hear it anyway. I have no idea how long I lay there, shivering as the water evaporated off my body.

You can’t stay here, I thought to myself. “Get up, you can’t stay here,” I mumbled to myself, clenching my teeth in an effort to stop their chattering. I said it aloud to make it seem more real, more urgent. I knew, in some inner part of my being, that this moment was one of those moments where you get to decide if you live or die. Somehow, I had to overcome this lethargy that was slowly consuming me, trying to kill me….

*****

Flashes of light were exploding against my retinas as I struggled against the weight pinning me to the ground. I clawed at the fingers that were clamped around my neck….trying to kill me….

*****

With a gasp, I came back to myself, breathing heavily, sprawled on my back in the inky black cavern, still shivering.  What the hell?! I struggled to reconcile what I’d seen (felt?) with my current predicament. Was it a memory? A dream? I couldn’t tell. Whatever it was, it gave me the willies. So, I sat up. Hey, that’s progress I thought. I stretched my legs out, testing each body part to be sure I was still in one piece. Legs, arms, scapula…all seemed to be in their proper place. Satisfied, I slowly climbed to my feet, the chill of the stone beneath them soaking through to my very bones. Now what? I can’t see and god knows what’s down in this bleeding cavern.

I could hear rushing water behind me. Slowly I did an about face in a carefully precise fashion (it would be too easy to lose all sense of direction in the absolute blackness) and stretched out my right hand toward the sound. All I encountered was emptiness…one…two…steps forward and rushing water wet the tips of my fingers. I took another step, reaching through what felt like a waterfall, and jammed my middle finger against a rock wall. “Fuck!” I jerked my hand back, cradling it close to my chest and hopped around in pain a bit. So much for maintaining my sense of direction.

I forced myself to stillness, taking deep breaths to stave off the hysterical laugh building in my chest. “Ok, easy, Danny, just…think for a minute,” I told myself. I closed my eyes (they weren’t doing me much good anyway) and stood there in all my birthday-suited glory. Talking to myself—great, because insanity is the best way to deal with this situation…what IS the best way to deal with this situation? Find help. For crying out loud, I’m just a… I didn’t know what I was. I didn’t know who I was. Now, just hang on, I’m Danny, Danny Davis (for which, I will hate my parents for all eternity). Right, I know who I am. I come from…I come from…that was it. All I had. Just a stupid name and the knowledge that I’d always hate my parents for gifting me with a moniker that abbreviates to “Double D”. I tried to reach back into my memory and call up more information, but it was like when I’d stretched my hand out into the blackest dark of this stupid cavern…just emptiness. I could sense there were edges, feel the negative space of my memory as a distant idea, but the memories themselves appeared to be gone.